How long did I hold out before I sold out?
Fifteen years or so on the dole
Spent aiming for the brink of a dank, black hole
Spent nurturing the flickering flame of my soul
As if it might have been blown out by the slightest breeze
As if everything was perfect so I had to hit "freeze"
Preserving the present against the threat of the future
A life not lived unless the circumstance suits ya

Did it my way? Did what? Not a lot
Mostly hunkered in my bunker in the company of my thoughts
Tried to figure things out so I'd know what it's about
Get my bearings and my targets set before I set out
If you know you wanna blow you gotta learn to fix the fuse
If you ache to create you've gotta hunt and catch your muse
But nowt ever lasts even though you paid your dues
Scurvy fuckers at the dole made me an offer I couldn't refuse

The bird leaps from the nest in the ultimate test
Either the theory takes flight or ya hit the deck in a mess
So with a knot of anxiety and struggling with stress
I threw myself into the fray of agitprop and protest
And yeah, I got burned, ugly lessons learned
Some of those I called "comrade" with a trust they never earned
But still I kept my feet and I stood up to the heat
Give myself a quick shake and once again I hit the street

Kicking it with anarchists, black flags and clenched fists
Days of hope, days of rage, days of getting proper pissed
Fucking with the fascists, running rings around the pigs
It didn't always work, but they're still the days I miss
But with a staggering stumble the whole scene collapsed
And looking back in anger is a point I've never passed
All my hopes and ideals were nailed up on that mast
And when I watched it go down it felt like that was my last

So here I am, in work and out of hope
Feeling like a failure, another washed up joke
Living in retreat, jaded and lame
Haven't the strength to get up and fail again

Yeah boy I got old and sold out